I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
God, I missed his penis.
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