were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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