I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
