he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
