I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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