Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
false alarm, still single
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