1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i think my tv is drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
