if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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