i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
