Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize