This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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