roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
