He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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