There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize