you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
