i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
