i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize