2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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