How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
