You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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