Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
