Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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