what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
That was before I lit my hair on fire
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
