Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
