You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
