Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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