your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize