Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The Olympian is in my bed
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