Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish you could order shots online.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
