Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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