i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize