I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What drink are we having for lunch?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
