id be glad to
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
