I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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