i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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