Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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