hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
