My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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