Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.

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(435): View more from Utah

it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.

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(972): View more from Texas

85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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(801): View more from Utah

Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.

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(770): View more from Georgia

He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.

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(658): View more from

Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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(985): View more from Louisiana

If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful

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