At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
