our cab driver is having phone sex.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
