who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
