If that was your dad, he is hot
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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