Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
third nipple confirmed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
