I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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