Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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