Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
