I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
