We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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