Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
