The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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