two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
