So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
