I want to have your abortion
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
