I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
