You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
