you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My penis needs a shock collar
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
