we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
