Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
