Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
