Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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