you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
