If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
