I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
