I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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