Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
