there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
