Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize