i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
