Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He better not be in your backpack
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize