it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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