does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
