What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
