she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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